Relationships don’t always end up in a happily-ever-after, and Disney has got it all wrong. While we all love to love, it doesn’t always end up in lofty heights and rainbows for days. Sometimes, relationships can tumble down the hill like a rolling stone that takes everything down with it. They can crash and upend your life like hurricane Katrina.
Although it is human to want to make a relationship work out, it is not always the best option. If you are in a toxic relationship, staying in it can do more harm than good. So, you need to realize soon enough that the relationship isn’t good for you. Otherwise, the emotional baggage could be the end of you. If your relationship takes more than normal effort to maintain, it can drain you of all your energy. So, instead of staying in toxic relationships, you should look for these signs:
#1: Lack of Trust
One of the most beautiful feelings of falling in love is to be able to trust someone blindly. Maybe that’s why people call it ‘falling’ in love because you are sure the other person will catch you. But if you are beginning to feel like you don’t trust your partner, there is probably something wrong. If a relationship lacks trust, likely, the two aren’t good for each other.
So, if you catch yourself always being cautious or checking their phone behind their back, it is time to let go. A relationship is only as good as the bond the two people share. And what good is a bond if it isn’t based on trust and honesty?
#2: Hostile Communication
If you and your partner are always in a fight, there might be something wrong. A healthy relationship has open communication where both parties listen to understand each other. If you two are yelling and calling each other names, there could be little room for positive discussions. Moreover, a relationship where both parties are only listening to respond is unlikely to end well. Toxic behavior can include physical and verbal abuse, breaking things, and even silent treatments. If two-way communication is getting harder, you should consider your options.
#3: Feeling Bad All the Time
A toxic relationship might make you feel bad all the time. If you wake up unhappy and go to sleep hollow on the inside, you aren’t in a healthy relationship. It is not normal to feel sullen, as if nothing brings you happiness. If you look at other couples and think how happy they look, you might want to reconsider your relationship as well. Even if doing something fun, being intimate, and sprucing it up doesn’t help, you should break up. If you aren’t happy, the chances are that you’re making your partner unhappy too.
#4: No Effort
Being physically present isn’t enough sometimes. Some people can expect their partner to make efforts and be emotionally available as well. Validation and connection are strong human needs in a relationship. So, if your partner isn’t making enough effort to be there for you, they’re probably not the one. It can be healthy to do things separately at times. But if you end up spending the most time on your own, then things are off. If none of you are making an effort to show how much you love the other person, it can get to a point of breaking up.
#5: Controlling Behavior
Your partner should not feel entitled to control you and everything you do. It can be toxic if one person is making all the decisions. Your actions and beliefs are yours, and no one should tell you what you can and cannot do. Often controlling behavior can also lead to threatening the loss of something valuable. For example, you might feel like you will lose financial stability or time with your children if you don’t stay in the relationship. Many people end up staying in a toxic relationship because of the fear of losing something else. So, the love is already lost here, and there is no point in losing your sanity.
#6: Looking for an Excuse
Sometimes you can see a disaster coming from a mile away. Other times, it could be standing right in front of you, and you wouldn’t have a clue. If you are always looking for an excuse to start a fight, your heart is probably not in it. Sometimes questions can become rhetorical, and you already know it will end up in an argument. Do you want to stay home with me or go out with your friends? Your boss is quite friendly, isn’t he? You already know where this is going. So, what are you waiting for?
